There comes a time when one becomes tired of the obstacles one must deal with when continuing to work on a one-sided family or friend relationship. A lifetime of being the one to write, call, visits, they “use” you and then they return to their “entitled” selves. An on and off family or friend relationship that “finally” becomes a chore to continue. The term “you have to love them, as in family”, maybe… “But you don’t have to like them” or “continue to have something to do with them. It is time to move on, but first some thoughts…
Trust your instinct about one-sided relationships, not the words that come from the “users”. You are not obligated to make continuous “start over’s” when these people do you wrong, give yourself a new start and ending, be bold. Their “Faith” does not have to be your faith. The entitled relative or friend has no real pride, it is false, they have had everything given to them in life and continues to expect more. You do not have to bear the weight of their crisis of the day that turns into a joke tomorrow. Give up, accept final defeat, you need to stop extending that “olive branch” when you have been shunned, mistreated, or was always the giver while they take. This type of relationship is not cracked it is broke!
“It takes years to learn to move on to understand that you were not in the wrong. Hope for change in this type of person is overrated and outdated, reality needs to be fully awake and aware, leave the past behind and their hypocrisy. You have been kept too long on the “family or friend hook”; their manipulation gives them power, the “I will call you, so you do not call me as I may be busy” needs to end.
Hypocrisy is the claim or pretense of feelings, behaviors, characteristics that one does not in fact have, these people have false acts and their motive is for gain. Failing to perceive and condemn faults of their own is their real normal. These people, these human beings misuse others and justify their own behavior. Evil is not uncommon, it is every day. Hypocrites believe that they are good, that they are innocent, and the victim.
My decision going forward as I do not have time to form lasting relationships, give no more chances or favors to the present “users”, my rule only. It is my life, it is worth living without constant conflict, the emotional pain these people impose should nourish your courage, the time comes when…”SAYING GOODBYE TO THESE PEOPLE MAY BE YOUR ONLY SECOND CHANCE”.
©2014.annjohnsonmurphree
ann johnson-murphree 
Always walk away.
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Yes!
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You are on point game, My aunt and I was just discussing this very topic. This is just confirmation on my choices and it is well with my soul. Awesome post!
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It is always good to have other confirm that you have the right to “stop the madness”…I believe we should love family, but it can get to the point where one must live their lives and not deal with such people. Ann
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My thoughts exactly!! God bless your beautiful heart for the courage and wisdom it has shown 🙂
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Thank you for this comment it means a great deal to me to have you answer. Ann
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You are most welcome my precious friend, I love your wonderful work 🙂
Hope you have a great rest of the week, God bless you lots 🙂
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Thank you
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🙂
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You can’t divorce your parents or your kids but we can put some distance. No sense being around toxic people no matter who they are.
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I agree with Gigi. Always walk away.
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Yes, this reinforcement in my decision is good for me. Ann
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Ann, your wise words remind me of some of what I’ve been reading about narcissism in difficult people. It’s so freeing to realize that we can walk away and have peace about it.
Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
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Thank you Wendy, your words were appreciated. I find that having to continue to support bad behavior must end. Ann
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So true. It doesn’t help anyone to be an enabler. ❀
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Oh, my writing was based on those who take,take, take until they cause your well to run dry then they disappear! But, you are right she my subject was enabled via parents. Thank you so much Windy, so good to hear a voice of logic. Ann
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Nice post…I had a hard time saying a final goodbye to my (supposedly) ‘best friend’ but it was necessary! I only regretted one thing: not having a previous knowledge about narcissism before I accepted that person as my friend…
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This piece came about with actually an adopted sister who has used on her terms for years and spoiled by my parents, I have held onto her and her pius ways for years with only bad actions on her part…time to say goodbye to second chances. thank you for your comment. Ann
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I have a friend who is so swallowed in her own sorrow that she does not have time to think about anyone else. She is nice but at times she makes me feel bad about being happy. She thinks everyone is selfish and want to hurt her.
Unfortunately,now i look at her as a responsibility and keep no expectations from her..
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Forgiveness is imbedded in the core of my being, however, this person comes in and out of my life when she wants too. She takes and when her needs satisfied she is gone. I have never had her unlisted tele # as she said she prefer calling me, she has cheated, lied and stole from me, because she is my adoptive sister I held on because of my parents who have passed away. I have no other cheek to turn for her to slap. She needs to take responsibility for herself but feels entitled my parents fault! When I stop giving…she is out of my life. I fly her to see me and she is all happy, the day she leaves she says I will contact you, don’t call me. Sorry about the long explanation, but we must someday turn away from those that make our lives miserable. Thank for the comment. Ann
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