The previous post on May 25, “Praying in God’s Waiting Room” was a spontaneous piece created after two weeks of literally “praying in God’s waiting room”. Early this morning God answered my prayers for release of this family member, hearts are heavy and never will there be a “good” time…because we are never ready for this, but now those who loved him must be in life as strong as he was in death. Now, we must prepare to say goodbye to one who was loved. Thank you followers for allowing this venue for those words. ajm
Again, death is in the air, the room
is silent but the sound coming from
the hearts of those there speaks
loudly…stop we are not ready for this.
Death forces people to take leaps of
faith, see into the skulls of the one
fighting to live, pray that they are ready
to write these words on their souls…
In death no one knows the hour, hearts
stand still waiting for that last breath,
words fill the air from the silence…
stop we are not ready for this. Is death
this secret club that no one wants to join;
each on an invisible island trying to look
into the picturesque past?
In death the finality, the value of life comes
closer, a silent cry for help, help me, in
death everyone reaches for God…stop we
are not ready for this. Waiting…
the minutes become hours, the hours a day,
in the silence the spirit cries please let me go,
in the silence those who wait cry give us
another hour another day…is anyone ready
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Believing in God creates an everyday fight
between the mind and spirit; a fight that feels
like a predator riding beneath the clouds
hovering ready to pounce on its prey, life.
Believing that God has set down in life’s book
a predestine path to walk is a struggle between
faith and doubt.
The disbelief in God leaps out of the undergrowth
of insecurity and becomes a poison racing through
the veins of trust, and the pathway through life
becomes lost in a thicket of mistrust and betrayal.
Get off that path… In the realms of God’s majesty
is the wondering world we live in, the heavens are
the air we breathe, and the joys of life.
Stop being a victim, create your own joy, measure
your blessing, and do not let the predators define
who you are, you can believe in God without proof.
The injustices placed in your path are lessons,
resist learning and you will miss the delights placed
in your true path.
Life is an uncertain race where
most people do no more than run
in place, there can be happiness,
sadness, and around every corner
a surprise; yet hope blooms.
Life is what one must create within
their allotted space, or sit on the
sidelines and wait leaving their journey
Life is not all joy floating upon the
winds of time; there are rights and
wrongs; and unknown quandaries,
setbacks, and living means moving
Life quickly passes, fair and cloudy
days, laughter and tears, and then
the warmth of the sun subsides ones
Life may mean walking in the valleys
of despair until fate starts an upward
climb, living with happiness, or grief;
always trust the heart and mind.
Life lived in harmony with others, loving,
caring and expectations met; seeds of
livelihood sown, repentance locked away
for God to judge; we strive and labor until
we pass on.
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Commitment, punctured, perforated;
a promise broken can leave open
wounds and fear, a cry for loyalty fell
on silent ears. Spirit bent, joy has
disappeared, heart numb, souls cannot
blossom with hatred on the tongue.
Break the chains that bind let the mind
flee, celebrate life at last you are free.
To those who live afterwards,
forgive; never take pity of the
journey that was predestined in
life. Pray that God does forgive,
and do not scorn the womb that
gave life. Have no resentment of
the thunderous hell that fell upon
the pathway walked. Pray that the
rains from Heaven wash away all
sorrow; dries all tears; and resolves
all past differences. Upon the wings
of life’s wild storms have courage and
fight for love.
Where do dreams start, first in your heart (desire), second in your mind (the process), third set them in motion, if you can dream it, you can make it come true. This I believe, and time or age should not be a factor, think big then appreciate the small blessings.
I have had comments on my blog that are positive when I post poetry or prose, those that indicate that efforts were a waste of time, I trash! I am doing what I want with my life and I will always run into the naysayers, doubters and those who believe that my butt should be planted in a rocking chair and my hand should be holding knitting needles. Instead, I sit here with laptop balanced on a rickety old table pounding out poetry or a short story idea and scoff at those who would try to kill my dream, a dream in the making over a lifetime and the last ten-years spent in learning and creating. Of this creation process has been born three poetry books and one of my personal art.
I am not intimidated with rejection slips, I am a member of the rejection slip club and our membership is huge; yet, we refuse to give up our dreams. In this club, I am in the presence of good writers, and creative excellence that has yet to fulfill their dreams. We are all on a journey to find ourselves, to meet the excellence of who we were intended to be. It is a roller coaster ride, for every ten “no’s” there is a “yes”, we dream of one day hearing “YES, YES, YES”!
You must not only follow your dreams, you must fight for them, again age, time, place, and conditions cannot stop our dreams. If you do not go after your dreams, you will be responsible for them being “crushed”. At the end of your life, have no regrets. Look around, dreamers created all of the many things that you love. So, your dreams may not come as soon as you would like, be patience the side trips toward your dream could inspire you in other ways toward your greatness. A part of your personal growth in life is because of your dreams, without them would you be who you are today?
Doing what you want in life attracts those who are jealous, ignore them; do not try to justify your dreams with these people; they are not worth your time. Following your dreams may give them the inspiration to find their own dreams.
Again, age is not a factor in following or finding your dream, stay motivate, look at failures as a learning ground for growth and always remember that there are no rules in life where dreaming is concerned. Never set boundary around yourself, or let others wall up your dreams. Take a chance on finding greatness.
There comes a time when one becomes tired of the obstacles one must deal with when continuing to work on a one-sided family or friend relationship. A lifetime of being the one to write, call, visits, they “use” you and then they return to their “entitled” selves. An on and off family or friend relationship that “finally” becomes a chore to continue. The term “you have to love them, as in family”, maybe… “But you don’t have to like them” or “continue to have something to do with them. It is time to move on, but first some thoughts…
Trust your instinct about one-sided relationships, not the words that come from the “users”. You are not obligated to make continuous “start over’s” when these people do you wrong, give yourself a new start and ending, be bold. Their “Faith” does not have to be your faith. The entitled relative or friend has no real pride, it is false, they have had everything given to them in life and continues to expect more. You do not have to bear the weight of their crisis of the day that turns into a joke tomorrow. Give up, accept final defeat, you need to stop extending that “olive branch” when you have been shunned, mistreated, or was always the giver while they take. This type of relationship is not cracked it is broke!
“It takes years to learn to move on to understand that you were not in the wrong. Hope for change in this type of person is overrated and outdated, reality needs to be fully awake and aware, leave the past behind and their hypocrisy. You have been kept too long on the “family or friend hook”; their manipulation gives them power, the “I will call you, so you do not call me as I may be busy” needs to end.
Hypocrisy is the claim or pretense of feelings, behaviors, characteristics that one does not in fact have, these people have false acts and their motive is for gain. Failing to perceive and condemn faults of their own is their real normal. These people, these human beings misuse others and justify their own behavior. Evil is not uncommon, it is every day. Hypocrites believe that they are good, that they are innocent, and the victim.
My decision going forward as I do not have time to form lasting relationships, give no more chances or favors to the present “users”, my rule only. It is my life, it is worth living without constant conflict, the emotional pain these people impose should nourish your courage, the time comes when…”SAYING GOODBYE TO THESE PEOPLE MAY BE YOUR ONLY SECOND CHANCE”.
Memories emerge from the darkness
of the night becoming one with my soul
like the rivers that flow into the sea.
These hours before dawn are like a cold
rain pounding into my heart. The grief is
fierce as it raises then returns to consume
my spirit, assaulting my senses. The depths
of my courage wounded, I am listing in a sea
of sorrow my life filled with more grief than
many can bear. I search for a miracle, hope
merges with despair, is my destiny to lose
all that I have ever loved. It is the hard cold
hour before departing this misery.