As We Travel into 2014…

old-woman

The end of 2013 is rushing in, where has the year gone; where have all of them gone?  May you all be blessed in the coming year and throughout 2014.

With the coming of “another” year, I have spent some time reflecting on the many years that have passed.  There are times when memories come and go; they are always there waiting for me to recall and I do wonder if the day will come when I will remember them at all?

Just an old woman now, once a young girl with roads to travel; songs to sing, just a child not knowing what life would bring; all rainbow skies and starry nights, times of youth a place where imagination blinds the truth.

Traveled many roads scattered with heartache, no songs to sing, voice choked back, no future seen, existence never knowing what life will bring.

Memories of dreams and hopes put aside, dedication to family, doing the best one could, life ending in stagnant waters was not the dream, the intention, a life of hard work, worry, pain and dissension.

Time did not go quickly; existence hard to bear, and the burden heavy yet out of love, one continues to care.  Poignant images clear; woven upon life’s tapestry was the face of fear.

Hiding, fearing truth and failure became a familiarity; life’s trepidation burned into the soul gave certain legitimacy, came the day when the mirror could not lie; it whispered keep going you have to try.

Thick black hair turned gray, skin furrowed with wrinkles never to go away; a face that always tried to smile disguised sadness from having to say too many goodbyes, life gone out of tired old eyes; a rutted road traveled where time was not kind; the bouquet of dreams finally wilted; time could not keep the dreams alive.

As years go by fear of approval subsides the mind absorbed no longer in the when, where or how, the mirror leaves but one image that of an old woman now…

Yet…

It has taken far too long to reach this place in life it seems.  One waits to see what the next mile will bring.

The road walked is a long one at times and sometimes rocky too, but it is a place in time where dreams are mostly that of an old fool.

No longer is there a pressing need to set life’s goals, there little time left to change, and thoughts of new adventures and dreams now slowly grow.  Just plans to accept the destiny of the aging years in a place one has carefully chose.

Though tossed and turned in life’s storms; one continues to look for a brighter dawn and no longer held back by unknown fears; every day is the first day of life in the aging years and hope to continue moving forward.

Be thankful for those years gone by and look forward to each day that is to come; face the challenge of each day with a hunger to live it fully and as if it is your last.

AJM 12.30.2013

Time To Let Go Of You … And You … And … You

This writing deserves a reblog, it takes courage to stand alone, I know; visit Granny’s site she maintains a wonderful vision of the past, present and future. My thanks to her and my wishes for a wonderful 2014. AJM

GRANNY'S COLORFUL

Time To Let Go Of You … And You … And … You

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 

 

 

There comes a time in a person’s life when it’s time to cleanse

Get the clutter out of their life, be able to see… think clearly

Clutter being material things… clutter being negative people

 

Time to let go of things unneeded, things that take up space

People who are negative… people who deceive us as friends

People who are unhealthy for us …. who use us when needed

 

Time to let go of people who pretend they are family, care

People who latch onto us, if they think we are somebody

Unlatch from us… if we are not

 

What better time to cleanse our life from all the riff-raff

Let go of all the things that take up space, cause us grief

What…

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The Holidays…

candle_blue

Its Christmas time once again…

There is still inconceivable grief,

mourning mixed with joy and a pain

that is never brief. 

Anguish underneath the labyrinth of

holiday lights longs for the emptiness

to go away; and renewed happiness to

fill the night. 

I hide endless pain beneath a smiling face;

because my fragile gifts from God are no

longer with me; now in a distant and heavenly

Place.

Bits and Pieces of Love…

The box of Christmas ornaments hidden away for so long spilled onto the floor; memories flooded back, two adult children taken from me.  Frozen in time, I picked up the handmade treasures; paper, ribbon, bits and pieces of love formed into special ornaments that these children made for me when they were children.

Tonight I sit, a wounded soul and I write a letter that I have not written since I myself was a child.  

Dear Santa Clause,

There are just a few wishes this year on my list.  Leave me a sign that my children know how much they are missed.  Leave me a box of magic needles and thread to mend my heart so that I may find a reason to get out of bed .  Maybe a bag of Christmas Spirit filled with love that eases the pain of what I lost to Heaven above.  Do you still remember me Santa after all of these years; do you remember how your gifts could take away my tears?  I know that I have ask for a lot, but can I have a reason to live tied up in a shiny new box; four years…a long time to grieve, please Santa with all my heart I want to believe. 

Love, Anne