It is cold in the shadows of today,
I sometimes wonder when I die if
below the earth is strange, dark or
light? Will I know?
I hurry towards an uncertain
tomorrow, I hurry through my life
to end my sorrow.
2013.annjohnsonmurphree
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I like this poem. Though, I wish you had developed it a bit more. There is so much potential in this that I leave wanting to read more. I’m not saying that you should not leave anything to be read in between the lines, but if you expand the lines more, I am certainly sure the results will be great.
But overall, the idea is interesting. I hope my comment wasn’t mere rant. <333
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Not at all…it is micropoetry, a thought, planting an idea, getting a reaction from its few words, provoking a thought in another. Thanks for stopping by, I welcome critiquing! Have a great evening. Ann
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Ah, yes, yes. Rough thoughts/Word Vomit as the young writers society I’m part of call it. I apologize for the misunderstanding, and I, again, would like to compliment you for your lovely work. Keep it up, and you too have a great evening. ❤
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Never apologize for truth! Thank you for reading my work and I do enjoy a good critique; I continue to learn. Please visit again. Ann
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Oh, I am completely flattered. Thank you so much for the kind response. (:
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[smiles] for you, thank you. Ann
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Bravo…!
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‘will I know?’-that gave me tingles, it’s thought provoking, I enjoyed this piece, I feel slightly saddened by it and it opens up many questions. I like the length of this-(ignore that I just made that sound rude)-For me however I think It is enough to explore the questions.
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Thank you, I actually have been working on a lot of micropoetry as it is a quick read and if I do it well the reader will get the message I am trying to convey. So, no that is not rude, it is truth. The day of the 1000 word poem is long gone. Ann
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